i used to be a believer in love. romantic love that is. but lately ive come to realize that it doesnt exist. no matter how bad we try to convince ourselves we are in love, it just doesnt exist. it was created by Hallmark to make a quick buck and make us look retarded at the same time.
ive been listening to one of my best friends talk about her bf. when i first met this guy, even tho it was only in passing, he seemed like a pretty standup kinda guy. she seemed happy, they had been together for a long time, so i thought all systems were go. then out of nowhere a few weeks ago, she IMs me crying her eyes out about him. then she starts telling me all this stuff about how he's been cheating on her and such. long story short, i wanted (and still do) to kill this boy on sight.
another friend of mine from FAMU was telling me about this guy she met while she was living in Atlanta. how he was such a great guy and all this stuff. again, i felt happy for her. she was really feeling him, and he was feeling her. but..he was married. he said that his wife and him were going thru tough times and he wanted to feel love. again, he lost points from me.
and lets not forget my situation...
the point is people watch movies about love and "romance" and they think that being in love is supposed to be perfect with no fighting or yelling, and everyone is supposed to be singing and dancing like the little freaks from the Wizard of Oz, and youre supposed to smile and curtsy all day. thats not what love, if it even exists, is. people get this preconceived notion that you can never be angry or sad. thats why relationships fail. as soon as one thing goes wrong, as soon as one thing is out of place, you are so quick to move to the next person, without giving the person that does love you a fighting chance. you go behind their backs and find another person to satisfy your selfish needs. yes selfish; when you begin to not consider how the other person is feeling, what they think about everything, or how much they are willing to fight for you, thats being selfish. when you have to relationship hop, thats being selfish
Hallmark tricked us into thinking that being in love will cure all of our ailments; that it wil conquer all things. that it is truly good and pure. please. love isnt pure; its just something to do because we've been made to believe that dying alone is bad. true, maybe it is bad, but who are you to judge someone. maybe long ago they decided that they didnt want kids. i know people like that. thats a personal choice. but dont fool yourself or others into thinking that being in love is good. being in love can hurt (as you can tell from my stories) being in love can make you feel like you are not human. that you are lower than shit's shit. thats how you know its man made. American made, because just about everything that comes from man has a negative effect on something. yea it may be convenient, but it still destroys something else. thats what love is. its convenient at the moment, but it may destroy someones soul. till it feel like they are screaming in agony on the inside. and just like every other invention, as soon as one thing goes wrong its off to the scrapyard.
people arent willing to work anymore. they just want love to fall in their laps and become a Stepford Wife. and that feeling that you get when you think youre around the person of your dreams? thats just your gut counting down to the time when you break their heart. thats all butterflies are. weve all been had. weve been took. weve been hoodwinked. bamboozled. led astray, and run amuck.
and if it does exist somewhere, unless youre willing to die for it, for that person, put the words "iloveyou" out of your vocabulary
till next time
Monday, January 5, 2009
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