Vol. 31: V-Day: The Other STD

if you're one of those naive, easily-offended and therefore preachy traditionalist, id strongly advise you not to read beyond this point.

Valentine's Day. probably one of the most ridiculous, unnecessary holidays of the year. its kinda like New Years; you don't see the point in getting overly enthused about it--its not like you get a prize or anything if you jump up and down and see rainbows and happy times all damn day. but you feel guilty and unassimilated if you don't act like a retard and jump on the bandwagon with all the other gullible dopes in the country who celebrate it. its pretty much a lose-lose situation. just think about it

if you're a girl, you pretty much expect that your boyfriend will join the crowd and buy you flowers and candy and sing you songs and take you to dinner and have the violinist play you a solo. come on with the bullshit. the only reason he remembers is because you constantly beat him over the head about it, silently dropping hints that you're expecting the most spectacular surprise in the history of dating. but...its not a surprise if you're expecting it, is it? hmm. anyway, here's the real kicker. if you DON'T get anything, you feel unloved, unwanted, unattractive, and all those other UN- words that make your man feel like he is the scum of the earth.and god forbid if he forgets...oh wait. scratch that. god forbid if you're SINGLE, because then you become everyone's problem.

guys arent all that innocent tho. i mean lets face it, after all the candy getting, and flower picking, it'd be nice if we could get some of that good-good. its a guilty expectation. but its a shame that we kinda get left in the dust of the female inhibition to worship hollywoods stranglehold of the love concept.

whats so special about today (well tomorrow). would you really expect flowers and candy if it wasnt a holiday? now what if it wasnt a holiday and you expected it; wouldn't you get bored, or even creeped out that this man was willing and enthusiastic about showing his affection on a regular basis?

ladies and gentlemen....you've all been dooped by Hallmark and American Capitalism. why dont they advertise MLK day like this? why is Columbus day left in the dark. Why is hootie Hoo day forgotten? why should a calendar day dictate when you show and are shown affection? if you really love a woman, you should be willing to send her flowers on the most random day of the week...like a tuesday.right to her classroom/job/house. you should know that no matter what, he loves you and worships the very ground you walk on. no 5 cent piece of cardboard can express that. but dont just take it from me, i managed to pull a few VD (pun intended) skeptics out of the journalistic world

"Yes, Valentine's Day is such a special, useful holiday, and not at all a corporate invention conjured up to sell useless crap that people don't need. Certainly, flowers are great. What could be better than an exorbitantly expensive gift that is certain to die in a week? And greeting cards? What says 'I care about you deeply' more than a piece of cardboard with a trite sentiment dreamed up by a team of advertisers? And chocolates? Who doesn't love a box of candy where you enjoy at least one out of every 10 pieces? Has there ever been a better idea than a holiday that exists for the sole purpose of being used as a guilt trip when someone forgets it? I think not!" -- Stephen Markley. Redeye

if you're wondering how i feel about VD, you should expect a gift the week before rather than the day of. but just because it doesnt come the day of, doesnt mean you aren't in my heart. thats the sign of true love. much like my upcoming note "The fiery Pits"

till next time, peace, "love" and eternal jazzyness
Happy St. Patrick's Day

uknow.

Vol. 30: All Twins Think Alike

this is why i love my twin, Lee Lee. she knows exactly whats up in the male mind. too bad i cant return the favor and dropsome knowledge about females (that would take years tho). anyway, this are the true Man Laws. enjoy em and thanks twin! (my favorites are in bold)

--Guys don't like sluts even though they have sex with them!


--"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

--Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

--Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

--Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

--Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

--Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

--A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

--Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

--Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

--Guys get jealous easily.

--Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

--Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

--Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.


--Girls are guys' weaknesses.

--Guys are very open about themselves.

--It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

--Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

--If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

--A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

--Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

--Guys will brag about anything.

--Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

--No matter how much guys talk about ass and boobs, personality is key.

--Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

--Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

--Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

--Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

--Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships. (don's side note; NO ONE can write a book about relationships)

--Try to be as straightforward as possible.

--If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.


--If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

--When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

--When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

--Guys don't really have final decisions.

--If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

--If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

--When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

--When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

--Guys like femininity not feebleness. (don's side note; emasculating (google it) a man is what kills relationships. dont try to wear the pants all the time)

--Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

--A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

--Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

--Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

--Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

--Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

--If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.


--Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

--A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

--No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

--Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a asshole doesn't mean he represents ALL of us.

--We don't like girls who are too skinny.

--We love it when girls talk about there boobs.

--Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and tell them about yours...

--When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

--Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts...

--Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.

--When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

Vol. 29: The Homocidal Cliche

its definitely been a while since i wrote a note. however the concept and the rules are still the same. this time, i have some things to add.

1. do not just assume that my love life is just terrible and im just venting about how all women are terrible people. women arent terrible. just confused individuals. but thats a topic for another note.
2. do not...i repeat...do NOT tell me about how love has come to your life and about you and your bf/gf and how in love you are, because, personally...i dont care. i always write about what i see. i try to keep my experiences and life out of all of my notes, minus AAS. so again, dont think im talking about myself or about one persons experience. its all general.
3. this is not what i mentioned in my last note. that explanation is still forthcoming.

so on to the note. i was gonna write this last night but the conversation i had about this went well until i fell asleep.

my cousin was at my house last night, and i was forced to watch that bullshit show A Double Shot At Love. now don't get me wrong, i love the twins, and the whole fact of girls making out makes me weak in the knees. however, the concept of the show proved the point ive been making for months now: love does not exist.

how can you say love exist when shows like that, Flavor of Love, and I Love New York exist? you can say they are just shows, and they are, but people are influenced by them and are made to think that love is just that easy to find. its not even just this. movies, music, books...people get sucked into these things and begin to think that whats portrayed in them is what love really is. its all bullshit. that whole "i love you *kiss*" at the end of pretty much every movie is all crap. thats why the movie ends that way. they dont want you to see what happens down the road-- that would make people sad, and they would lose money. i want to see a movie--a sequel that shows the relationship after six months. is it still so happy and lovie dovie? show me when they fight. show me when they argue. and show me the aftermath of that. thats what real love is.

but people dont get that. they dont want that. they just want someone to feed their egos. people want someone that will compliment them 24/7. women want him to be her boy-girlfriend; a borderline gay guy who will kiss her ass all the damn time. alot of guys want to be in charge. someone who will just say "yes dear" "thats a good idea, honey". and then you realize you dont want that when you get bored. but you're so used to being spoiled, you wouldnt be able to handle someone who is willing to go against what you say and tell you flat out that you are wrong. so you go behind the persons back and find someone else who gives you what you want. and then when neither of them want you when the smoke clears, you want to listen to these dumbass love songs talking about how that gender is the death to yours and how you could've done better. yea, you couldve done better, if you had been mature like you always claim you are. you're not mature if you tell 3, 4, 5 people that you are so in love with them, because in reality, you have no idea what love is. you just have the general concept based on what you see at the end of the movies and in love songs. but you dont think you're doing anything wrong because you think you are mature and think you are grown. come on with the bullshit.

and for the love songs and movies giving you false hope in this vague concept, think about this. the same artist that puts out that love song, has another track on the SAME ALBUM talking about how that person was oh so wrong for them. i dont get it. really i dont. i swear people are idiots. but they continuously fall for it. and dont tell me that its because they believe in love. understand what real love is first, before you try to help other people cope with it.

so i say this. before you go and fall "oh so in love" with the supposed greatest person you've ever met...grow the fuck up. get the real feeling. understand that REAL love. it means feeling that you would kill yourself without this person. dont say it to 5 million different people. that's why its lost its edge. its said so much now, it doesnt even mean anything. its become a cliche. something thats just said because it sounds right, or because it just fits. or even worse, when someone shows is nice to you for a week. if thats the case, then just start counting down to the end now.

im done. i can talk about this for days but its beginning to piss me off again. twin..i need a brick lol

till next time

...you know..