Vol. 31: V-Day: The Other STD

if you're one of those naive, easily-offended and therefore preachy traditionalist, id strongly advise you not to read beyond this point.

Valentine's Day. probably one of the most ridiculous, unnecessary holidays of the year. its kinda like New Years; you don't see the point in getting overly enthused about it--its not like you get a prize or anything if you jump up and down and see rainbows and happy times all damn day. but you feel guilty and unassimilated if you don't act like a retard and jump on the bandwagon with all the other gullible dopes in the country who celebrate it. its pretty much a lose-lose situation. just think about it

if you're a girl, you pretty much expect that your boyfriend will join the crowd and buy you flowers and candy and sing you songs and take you to dinner and have the violinist play you a solo. come on with the bullshit. the only reason he remembers is because you constantly beat him over the head about it, silently dropping hints that you're expecting the most spectacular surprise in the history of dating. but...its not a surprise if you're expecting it, is it? hmm. anyway, here's the real kicker. if you DON'T get anything, you feel unloved, unwanted, unattractive, and all those other UN- words that make your man feel like he is the scum of the earth.and god forbid if he forgets...oh wait. scratch that. god forbid if you're SINGLE, because then you become everyone's problem.

guys arent all that innocent tho. i mean lets face it, after all the candy getting, and flower picking, it'd be nice if we could get some of that good-good. its a guilty expectation. but its a shame that we kinda get left in the dust of the female inhibition to worship hollywoods stranglehold of the love concept.

whats so special about today (well tomorrow). would you really expect flowers and candy if it wasnt a holiday? now what if it wasnt a holiday and you expected it; wouldn't you get bored, or even creeped out that this man was willing and enthusiastic about showing his affection on a regular basis?

ladies and gentlemen....you've all been dooped by Hallmark and American Capitalism. why dont they advertise MLK day like this? why is Columbus day left in the dark. Why is hootie Hoo day forgotten? why should a calendar day dictate when you show and are shown affection? if you really love a woman, you should be willing to send her flowers on the most random day of the week...like a tuesday.right to her classroom/job/house. you should know that no matter what, he loves you and worships the very ground you walk on. no 5 cent piece of cardboard can express that. but dont just take it from me, i managed to pull a few VD (pun intended) skeptics out of the journalistic world

"Yes, Valentine's Day is such a special, useful holiday, and not at all a corporate invention conjured up to sell useless crap that people don't need. Certainly, flowers are great. What could be better than an exorbitantly expensive gift that is certain to die in a week? And greeting cards? What says 'I care about you deeply' more than a piece of cardboard with a trite sentiment dreamed up by a team of advertisers? And chocolates? Who doesn't love a box of candy where you enjoy at least one out of every 10 pieces? Has there ever been a better idea than a holiday that exists for the sole purpose of being used as a guilt trip when someone forgets it? I think not!" -- Stephen Markley. Redeye

if you're wondering how i feel about VD, you should expect a gift the week before rather than the day of. but just because it doesnt come the day of, doesnt mean you aren't in my heart. thats the sign of true love. much like my upcoming note "The fiery Pits"

till next time, peace, "love" and eternal jazzyness
Happy St. Patrick's Day

uknow.